Social Media Girls

Catch us while we’re young and dumb… there’s truth to that. I was 4. Then 11. And then. And then. And then. These days I don’t even have to be present for my own violation; my likeness can be taken and contorted on my behalf. That’s a reality I walked knowingly into: disappear or be retraumatised endlessly. I was definitely caught young, you’re right about that, and it has shaped my life, my identity. It’s strange to imagine that validates you in some way. But I can guess why. I think I have something you don’t, though I hope you find it eventually.


Being confronted with evil, first in childhood and later endlessly, forces you to… figure it out. We must all find our way back to ourselves, yet remarkably few of us do. I wasn’t given much choice, however. Figure it out or die. Or find a way to perpetually numb myself, chemically or dissociatively. I did have a go at dying but, as it happens, ‘figuring it out’ comes more naturally to me.


My greatest strength comes not from my intellect (though that is pretty fucking epic), but from the respect and unshakable trust I have for myself. I know who I am, solidly. And I very much like that person. There’s no greater freedom than that. It’s the meaning of life, so I suggest you work towards it.


I know I will be brutalised again, if not tangibly then certainly virtually. But… I think I can figure it out, because I keep proving to myself that I can - no matter what happens. Best of all, I do so without ever resigning myself to cynicism. I am so. fucking. proud of that. I hope this inspires you to attempt a similar courage. It’s a really lovely way to exist, though it does require accountability and integrity. You cannot learn to like yourself if you continuously watch on as you say and do things that you know aren’t right. You’ve already hurt me, I have no agenda; these words are for you. A gift. (See, this is why I like myself!)


There is nothing wrong with desire, sex is natural and power dynamics can be fun in a context of play. You really would be hard pushed to shock me in that regard. But if you get your kicks from… harming someone willingly and engaging in… genuine power politics, then you’re missing out. That is a dissociation, and barely even comparable to the fun of connected, consensual play. You’re seeking out harm because it’s the only thing taboo enough to break through the desensitisation of porn over-consumption and the dissociation of listlessness. Of self-loathing.


Take my advice, or don’t. It won’t shock or disappoint me to be ignored, even less to receive a vitriolic reply. You’ve had your way with me. Now, what will you choose for yourself?

ramblings of a lunatic. Are you okay? Wtf is this lmao.

How did you find the Eryn stuff? And Leah stuff? From what I understand, Eryn shot content with multiple men.

I'll create a separate thread for Leah. Gimme till weekend. I'll post it.